4 Ways to Find C.A.L.M.

We have so many things for which to be grateful. I often think back to the 70s when I was growing up and how life was just simpler. We didn’t have a coffee place or a 7-11 on every corner. We had space to think, to walk, to listen. We didn’t have packed schedules.

I’m grateful my concierge wellness program has already helped over 50 women find their beacon of wellness and I am developing an online version to be ready by summer. Sign up below to get updates on the program and learn how you can be one of the first to sign up!

We also didn’t know as much as we know today. We didn’t know it takes a conscious and consistent effort to develop a stress resilience practice. It may take years, yet isn’t it really worth it?

We didn’t know how dangerous stress was to our bodies. Now we do.

In that vein, below are four ways you can find C.A.L.M. in these uncertain and scary times.

C – Create Habits

When we are under stress, our brains’ ability to think clearly becomes compromised. One way to combat “frozen brain” or when you really can’t get yourself out of a negative space is to return to your habits.

Habit science is the basis of my concierge wellness program and works with how your brain turns activities that lead to well-being into habits. A habit is something you do without even consciously thinking about it. While it can take time for a new habit to develop, it is well worth it. Imagine completing a 5 Minute Flow every day at noon!?

Think about the woman who has a glass of wine every night at the end of the workday. Or how about the family habit of TV watching after dinner. Or how about the friend or colleague who is consistently late to meetings and gatherings. These are all habits.

Now think about the woman who parks far away from any destination to get in a few steps. Or the friend you know who doesn’t miss her religious service. Or even the friend who gets to sleep every night at the same time. These are all habits too.

Habits give your brain a sense of calm and safety. It doesn’t have to think too hard to do them. In fact, it doesn’t have to think at all. It just does it.

A – Allow Yourself Space to be in Emotional Duress

We often push away any emotions that don’t make us feel like $1M. Yet, feeling those emotions, then working through them is exactly how we grow. Over time, our brain becomes proficient at working through stress. It even becomes a habit!

In fact, the more we resist those emotions, the more of a habit (that resistance) becomes. Those emotions will persist until you find your way to CALM.

For all of you moms, aunts, grandmothers, friends out there: we know solving a child’s problem for them does not help them. In fact, we know they need to work through the emotions and find their answer.

The same applies to when we are under stress. Our brains need to feel it and use our own toolbox of ways to emerge even stronger because of that stressful moment/day/week/year.

L – Listen to Others

While I am a huge fan of helping women take care of #1 first, I am also keenly aware that we can often get overwhelmingly caught up in our own individual emotions, troubles, issues du jour. We sometimes forget that really everyone around us is struggling with something.

The art of listening to others takes years to develop. It is another important component of my concierge wellness program – of which I’m developing an online version 👍🏻 so I can share the secrets our community has discovered that can lead to lasting wellness and well-being.

Take time to notice others, ask thoughtful questions and just sit and listen. Don’t fix. Don’t tell about your story. Just listen.

By listening, we connect with others for whom we care. When we connect, that most important organ in your body is so happy. Our brains were made for social connection – even if it must be over Zoom!

M – Monotask

Our brains are not supercomputers. They were not meant for all we throw at them. Most especially, your brain is made to complete one task at a time, not twelve.

I myself was a master multi-tasker. My favorite was brushing my teeth while starting laundry. I look back and think I must have brushed one side of my mouth really well!

Multi-tasking is hard on the brain and places it under stress. Furthermore, when we try to do too many things at once, we are more likely to make mistakes, which then puts us under even more stress. It’s a vicious cycle!

Complete your tasks, one at a time, and you will eventually find not only is your stress level decreased, your tasks are performed with much greater skill!